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  #1  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 11:58 AM
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City people: have you ever had a dream (nightmare) about moving to the burbs?

Over the years, and especially since getting hitched and starting a family, I've had periodic recurring dreams where, much to my dismay, I find that my family has moved to a house out in the burbs.

I had one again last night. It was awful. The American mantra of "families belong in houses in the suburbs" is so powerful and pervasive that it has even implanted itself deep in the psyche of this dyed-in-the-wool urbanist.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?
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Last edited by Steely Dan; Apr 12, 2023 at 5:48 PM.
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  #2  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 12:43 PM
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No, not in the slightest.

You were probably just reading something about suburbs that got rehashed in your dream when your brain was sorting through memories.

Or you’re worried about something else entirely, and your brain filed it away in the “suburb” worry pathway.

For example, my frequent dreams about lightning, flooding, tornados and fire will always be set in a specific style of suburban ranch house. Doesn’t matter where I actually live. But that comes from a childhood of boarding up houses for hurricanes.

I’m sure there are techniques to shift your thoughts to something else, to help prevent such dreams.

Last edited by Steely Dan; Apr 12, 2023 at 5:55 PM.
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  #3  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steely Dan View Post
I had one again last night. It was awful. The American mantra of "families belong in houses in the suburbs" is so powerful and pervasive that it has even implanted itself deep in the psyche of this dyed-in-the-wool urbanist.
You must not love your children. Or at least you don't love them as much as suburban dads love their children.
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  #4  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 1:43 PM
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Already did that for a four-year period while growing up. That was PLENTY.
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  #5  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 4:31 PM
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Did your dream have imagery such at this?


Credit: http://abacus.bates.edu/


Very much part of suburban life. The main street of suburban areas.

It's calling for you! The voices in your dream are telling you something!!!
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  #6  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 4:44 PM
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I don't think I've ever had a nightmare related to where I live. But yeah, living in the suburbs does sound like a nightmare.
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  #7  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 7:31 PM
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Can't say that I have but until I was 18 I lived in suburban hell my whole life in Batavia, Il, then Plano, TX then Kingwood TX. All some of the most suburban of suburban hell places in the US. My parents always wanted to live the furthest away from any downtown area in Chicago, Dallas and Houston. They now retired to a huge housing development of 1/2 acre lots in suburban San Antonio.

Where I live now I guess is technically suburban, however it's an old neighborhood with houses dating from 1850-1910, so not suburban hell.

I grew up in McMansions where every street was named after the wildlife habitat or farmland they destroyed.
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  #8  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 8:26 PM
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I did have to go to the burbs the other week for a meeting at Argonne. That was bad enough (it was a "fun" 2 hour journey via CTA bus, Metra train, PACE bus and a 20 minute walk at the end in the rain).
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  #9  
Old Posted Apr 7, 2023, 8:46 PM
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Lived it with an ex many years ago - cul de sac, chintzy townhouse apartment, nothing worth mentioning in walking distance in an outer ring ‘burb. Maybe if it was a somewhat walkable streetcar suburb, it would have been bearable but things weren’t meant to be.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when I first met my (now) husband and learned he lived not only in the inner city neighborhood that I first moved to, but literally two blocks from the place I lived waaay back in the day.
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  #10  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 1:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steely Dan View Post
Over the years, and especially since getting hitched and starting a family, I've had periodic recurring dreams where, much to my horror, I find that my family has moved to a house out in the burbs.

I had one again last night. It was awful. The American mantra of "families belong in houses in the suburbs" is so powerful and pervasive that it has even implanted itself deep in the psyche of this dyed-in-the-wool urbanist.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?
Is it possible that as your Lincoln Square neighborhood gentrifies, you subconsciously fear that it will become more suburban? Hence the nightmares.
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  #11  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 2:59 AM
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Heres the main 3 hell on Earth streets I grew up on until I left for college.

hell on earth by PittsburghMarbles, on Flickr

hell on earth 3 by PittsburghMarbles, on Flickr

hell on earth 2 by PittsburghMarbles, on Flickr
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  #12  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 3:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by photoLith View Post
I grew up in McMansions where every street was named after the wildlife habitat or farmland they destroyed.
This is one of the best lines I've read
Very clever and truthful.

Which of the 3 houses was the most tolerable?
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  #13  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 4:13 AM
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Those look like mansions; very lucky to live that lifestyle!
-I live in the poorest county in all of California. I had a dream and executed it, but obviously the poorest part of CA is the best place to buy land.
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  #14  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 4:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by photoLith View Post
Heres the main 3 hell on Earth streets I grew up on until I left for college.

hell on earth by PittsburghMarbles, on Flickr
Looks like the back of Kingwood by East End Park. My house is closer W Lake Houston Parkway. Not the hugest fan of Kingwood mainly because the locals are as vanilla as they come but I love my house and yard.
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  #15  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 4:54 AM
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I find suburbia to be a cultural mindset more than a place.
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  #16  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 7:41 AM
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Originally Posted by JManc View Post
Looks like the back of Kingwood by East End Park. My house is closer W Lake Houston Parkway. Not the hugest fan of Kingwood mainly because the locals are as vanilla as they come but I love my house and yard.
Yes, it was one street away from East End Park. As an aside; I and others along with Houston Audubon helped save the field in East End Park from being turned into soccer fields around 2004 as I documented that the endangered sub species of the LeContes Sparrow used it. Said field and park are still permanently protected from being used for anything other than wildlife habitat today because of that.
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Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 8:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wigs View Post
This is one of the best lines I've read
Very clever and truthful.

Which of the 3 houses was the most tolerable?
I remember when I was a little kid in Plano; I would ride my bike up to a small hill and it was nothing but a sea of tract housing, power lines and water towers for as far as the eye could see. It was horrifying to me as I loved wildlife preservation and conservation for as long as I can remember and it disgusted me.

The most tolerable I guess was Kingwood as at least there were green belt bike trails with nominal amounts of wildlife habitat sort of preserved. There was nothing historic or urban at all though with Kingwood as the whole giant town was all built post circa 1975.

At least Plano and Batavia had historic main streets. But I rarely went downtown growing up (Chicago and Dallas before Kingwood, I mostly grew up in Kingwood from the 4th-12th grade) in Houston before I was 16 as my parents didn’t care about cities and cultural things downtown. They were scared of cities and thought they were dangerous crime ridden hell holes. Can’t blame them as they both grew up near Detroit in the 60s-80s. After I turned 16 I regularly went to downtown Houston to photograph the skyscrapers and would all the time drive down to Galveston to see the beautiful historic architecture there.
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  #18  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 12:42 PM
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Suburbia can be done right if it meets a few requirements:

1) House diversity - big diversity in homes where a lot of houses are unique and its not the same cut and paste job

2) Landscaping - this is important. Your diversity of flora and trees and property owners who care about the look

3) No trucks or cars on the lawn... keep it on pavement

4) sidewalks on both sides.

5) Oak trees or decent flora along the side walk edges (more an added value of older, mature suburbs)

6) Residents who take care of the properties and who care

IMO, if it meets all 6 requirements, its a good suburb. A suburb with character and love can be a great place to live and also visually will look nice. Unfortunately tends to be an upper middle class or wealthy area, because some of those suburbs look very nice but they can be nice visual places to live IF DONE right.
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  #19  
Old Posted Apr 8, 2023, 10:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chris08876 View Post
Suburbia can be done right if it meets a few requirements:

1) House diversity - big diversity in homes where a lot of houses are unique and its not the same cut and paste job

2) Landscaping - this is important. Your diversity of flora and trees and property owners who care about the look

3) No trucks or cars on the lawn... keep it on pavement

4) sidewalks on both sides.

5) Oak trees or decent flora along the side walk edges (more an added value of older, mature suburbs)

6) Residents who take care of the properties and who care

IMO, if it meets all 6 requirements, its a good suburb. A suburb with character and love can be a great place to live and also visually will look nice. Unfortunately tends to be an upper middle class or wealthy area, because some of those suburbs look very nice but they can be nice visual places to live IF DONE right.
My "nightmare" was that I would have to spend the rest of my life in my Houston suburb. Despite how comfortable the home was or tidy the neighborhoods, it always felt very isolating. Despite living there for well over a decade, I never saw most of my neighbors beyond them driving in or out of their attached garages. All backyards were surrounded by tall wooden fences. No front porches, no lawn chairs out front, few kids playing out front. And when walking through the neighborhood, especially during the day, I was nearly always the only person on the street or in front of their house. It was as if being outdoors and not in a car was entering hostile territory. While walking I would sometimes see suspicious cars driving around, and on a couple of accessions had objects thrown at me from cars, so in a sense it was.

But the neighborhood "looked" good, and often get recommended as one of the "best" neighborhoods.

My former street in the suburbs met all 6 criteria, more or less. But the subdivision was an island, surrounded by roadways that were either unwalkable (no sidewalks, ditches, heavy traffic, etc), or prettified parkways that perhaps looked good from a car (see #2 and #4) but not useful for getting or going anywhere on foot.

I think a #7 is needed, and should be a central "Main Street" area with accommodations for bike and walkers, preferable close enough to residential areas where people can actually walk or bike to them. It doesn't even have to be just shops, but it could be a central park or town square, but one that has more than just green space and a playing field but can serve as a neighborhood destination of sorts. It could even be a focal point of things like schools and churches. But it needs to be more than a series of parking lots.
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  #20  
Old Posted Apr 9, 2023, 1:03 AM
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^ Clear Lake? I own a house there. I like Nassau Bay and League City (by the bay) but the traffic is terrible.
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