2020 - Air Your Grievances

O-tacular · #1 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 7:19 PM**

This has been a terrible year. Let this be a place to air your grievances!

I'll go first. A couple of weeks ago we decided to try and do a road trip to Banff for the day with our 15 month old son. Beyond Coronavirus it is difficult to travel with a child of this age. We said screw it let's get some fresh mountain air. Haven't left the city since he was born.

Thursday was beautiful. Overnight the smoke from the West Coast fires blew in and resulted in air quality alerts in Calgary and Banff. Needless to say we did not end up going and this was how my 'holiday' felt:

• Video Link

Obviously I am grateful not to be living in Vancouver or Victoria right now but it felt like the cherry on top of a crummy summer.

Denscity · #2 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 7:27 PM**

The smoke is gone now from southern BC. Which may make you grieve even more lol.

O-tacular · #3 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 7:41 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denscity

The smoke is gone now from southern BC. Which may make you grieve even more lol.

Glad to hear that. It’s been grey with smoke the past couple weeks with some sunny days but nothing like you guys had. Hopefully it didn’t leave there to hang out here.

This year has felt apocalyptic enough without choking wildfire smoke. Sadly it seems to be a new season now.

MolsonExport · #4 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 7:54 PM**

No more narcissistic sweaty shirtless selfies on SSP! Save it for some dating site or instagram.

Proof Sheet · #5 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 11:19 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

No more narcissistic sweaty shirtless selfies on SSP! Save it for some dating site or instagram.

Totally in agreement.....leave it for Instagathingamajig or that other narcissistic forum called The Facebook.

Seriously, though haven't gone on a good vacation since late 2018 and late in 2019, started planning a vacation to northern Italy (Dolomites, maybe Austria) with my wife and a stop off in the UK to see family etc. The plan was to go basically now so as you can imagine that trip went out the window. Backup option of New Hampshire now is also out the window due to border restrictions and even though the White Mountains of NH are quite bucolic the political situation in the US with a bat sh*t crazy president doesn't help.

lio45 · #6 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 7:58 PM**

The "wooden shacks" discussion spawned a wooden shack thread, maybe this will spawn a "The Great Canadian Show-Yourself-Shirtless-And/Or-Naked Thread"?

SignalHillHiker · #7 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:04 PM**

You know what? Fuck it lol AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has definitely been my personal annus horribilis.

January: Blizzard that completely shut the city down for 8 days, mostly shut down for several weeks. It was far worse than the COVID lockdown.

February: Really started to consciously experience the mental consequences of a new superior at work. Not sure the reason (fear of job loss on their part?) but aggressive micro-management, constant undermining, daily smug criticism. I went from barely being able to do anything wrong to barely able to do anything right. Professional confidence? Gone. I used to love going to work, around February I started wanting to cry every morning, and going to bed at supper time after every day on the job.

March-June: Working from home, some distance from supervisor, much easier at work. But gradually had a full mental breakdown from loneliness. I've always been a heavy drinker but this escalated dramatically after the first few weeks of lockdown. 8-12 daily, often more. After those weeks of marinating myself in a depressant, reached the logical mental conclusion. Of course decided better and reached out to friends instead. Ended up staying a couple weeks at a friend's place, on and on. Haven't had a drink since and I'm leaning toward not reintroducing it to my life in any capacity. I enjoy the edibles when I want to relax, and I'm more in control even when I'm especially down.

July-August: Back in the office. No improvement. But I did notice that when my supervisor was off on vacation, everything went so much better - not just for me personally but for the overall work. So my professional confidence started to return a bit.

September: It was either quit (there's nothing else comparable here, certainly not at the same level of pay; so I'm not really free) or access EAP/workplace conflict resolution training/whatever else I could. So, now I'm seeing a coach weekly for a couple months. And keeping records. It's insane the impact just one individual can have on your career, mental health. Tragic, really. Makes me feel so ashamed. I can't believe I didn't see their incompetence and genuinely let myself get beaten down by them. I described some of the situations to my coach, and I did not exaggerate or embellish at all. And I didn't even mention the huge ones, only the few little incidents from recent days that were top of mind. And she said, "You need to keep a record of this for HR if it comes to that. What you're describing is a severe form of workforce bullying."

So yeah, a really, really shit year. "Life is short... but also unbearably long."

I still scream at least once a day.

PortaPetee · #8 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:06 PM**

.

O-tacular · #9 Posted **Sep 27, 2020, 10:28 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

You know what? Fuck it lol AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has definitely been my personal annus horribilis.

January: Blizzard that completely shut the city down for 8 days, mostly shut down for several weeks. It was far worse than the COVID lockdown.

February: Really started to consciously experience the mental consequences of a new superior at work. Not sure the reason (fear of job loss on their part?) but aggressive micro-management, constant undermining, daily smug criticism. I went from barely being able to do anything wrong to barely able to do anything right. Professional confidence? Gone. I used to love going to work, around February I started wanting to cry every morning, and going to bed at supper time after every day on the job.

March-June: Working from home, some distance from supervisor, much easier at work. But gradually had a full mental breakdown from loneliness. I've always been a heavy drinker but this escalated dramatically after the first few weeks of lockdown. 8-12 daily, often more. After those weeks of marinating myself in a depressant, reached the logical mental conclusion. Of course decided better and reached out to friends instead. Ended up staying a couple weeks at a friend's place, on and on. Haven't had a drink since and I'm leaning toward not reintroducing it to my life in any capacity. I enjoy the edibles when I want to relax, and I'm more in control even when I'm especially down.

July-August: Back in the office. No improvement. But I did notice that when my supervisor was off on vacation, everything went so much better - not just for me personally but for the overall work. So my professional confidence started to return a bit.

September: It was either quit (there's nothing else comparable here, certainly not at the same level of pay; so I'm not really free) or access EAP/workplace conflict resolution training/whatever else I could. So, now I'm seeing a coach weekly for a couple months. And keeping records. It's insane the impact just one individual can have on your career, mental health. Tragic, really. Makes me feel so ashamed. I can't believe I didn't see their incompetence and genuinely let myself get beaten down by them. I described some of the situations to my coach, and I did not exaggerate or embellish at all. And I didn't even mention the huge ones, only the few little incidents from recent days that were top of mind. And she said, "You need to keep a record of this for HR if it comes to that. What you're describing is a severe form of workforce bullying."

So yeah, a really, really shit year. "Life is short... but also unbearably long."

I still scream at least once a day.

I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you on here in a while. Sorry to hear about your struggles. That boss definitely sounds abusive. You should invite them for lunch and take them to Ches’s so that pinhead can harvest their soul and turn their hide into a nice table cloth.

giallo · #10 Posted **Sep 27, 2020, 10:54 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

You know what? Fuck it lol AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has definitely been my personal annus horribilis.

January: Blizzard that completely shut the city down for 8 days, mostly shut down for several weeks. It was far worse than the COVID lockdown.

February: Really started to consciously experience the mental consequences of a new superior at work. Not sure the reason (fear of job loss on their part?) but aggressive micro-management, constant undermining, daily smug criticism. I went from barely being able to do anything wrong to barely able to do anything right. Professional confidence? Gone. I used to love going to work, around February I started wanting to cry every morning, and going to bed at supper time after every day on the job.

March-June: Working from home, some distance from supervisor, much easier at work. But gradually had a full mental breakdown from loneliness. I've always been a heavy drinker but this escalated dramatically after the first few weeks of lockdown. 8-12 daily, often more. After those weeks of marinating myself in a depressant, reached the logical mental conclusion. Of course decided better and reached out to friends instead. Ended up staying a couple weeks at a friend's place, on and on. Haven't had a drink since and I'm leaning toward not reintroducing it to my life in any capacity. I enjoy the edibles when I want to relax, and I'm more in control even when I'm especially down.

July-August: Back in the office. No improvement. But I did notice that when my supervisor was off on vacation, everything went so much better - not just for me personally but for the overall work. So my professional confidence started to return a bit.

September: It was either quit (there's nothing else comparable here, certainly not at the same level of pay; so I'm not really free) or access EAP/workplace conflict resolution training/whatever else I could. So, now I'm seeing a coach weekly for a couple months. And keeping records. It's insane the impact just one individual can have on your career, mental health. Tragic, really. Makes me feel so ashamed. I can't believe I didn't see their incompetence and genuinely let myself get beaten down by them. I described some of the situations to my coach, and I did not exaggerate or embellish at all. And I didn't even mention the huge ones, only the few little incidents from recent days that were top of mind. And she said, "You need to keep a record of this for HR if it comes to that. What you're describing is a severe form of workforce bullying."

So yeah, a really, really shit year. "Life is short... but also unbearably long."

I still scream at least once a day.

This year has been really tough on me as well. Moving to a new city and country mere months before COVID hit does not bode well for one's social life. I've never been so socially isolated in my entire life. As a full on extrovert, it's slowly, but surely started to mess with my mental health. I've had to try really hard to keep it together some days. With the added stress of not being able to work in Korea (I was working in China via Korea before the borders got shut), worrying about one of my parents that's very much at risk, my cat dying and not really liking the city I'm in, it's been a "death by a thousand cuts" situation.

I feel like a douche whining about it, because there are so many more people worse off than me, but it is what it is. I need social connections for the sake of my sanity.

O-tacular · #11 Posted **Sep 27, 2020, 11:08 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by giallo

This year has been really tough on me as well. Moving to a new city and country mere months before COVID hit does not bode well for one's social life. I've never been so socially isolated in my entire life. As a full on extrovert, it's slowly, but surely started to mess with my mental health. I've had to try really hard to keep it together some days. With the added stress of not being able to work in Korea (I was working in China via Korea before the borders got shut), worrying about one of my parents that's very much at risk, my cat dying and not really liking the city I'm in, it's been a "death by a thousand cuts" situation.

I feel like a douche whining about it, because there are so many more people worse off than me, but it is what it is. I need social connections for the sake of my sanity.

You’re not a douche for sharing your struggles. That’s what this thread is for. Think of it like a cathartic scream into the void. I can’t imagine living in another country away from friends and family during this time. Also being an extrovert would affect you more than an introvert.

dreambrother808 · #12 Posted **Sep 28, 2020, 12:13 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by giallo

This year has been really tough on me as well. Moving to a new city and country mere months before COVID hit does not bode well for one's social life. I've never been so socially isolated in my entire life. As a full on extrovert, it's slowly, but surely started to mess with my mental health. I've had to try really hard to keep it together some days. With the added stress of not being able to work in Korea (I was working in China via Korea before the borders got shut), worrying about one of my parents that's very much at risk, my cat dying and not really liking the city I'm in, it's been a "death by a thousand cuts" situation.

I feel like a douche whining about it, because there are so many more people worse off than me, but it is what it is. I need social connections for the sake of my sanity.

You'd be a douche if you were whining to someone who's mom just died of COVID but other than that sorrow is not a competition and nobody wins. Everyone has the right to express grief.

"The worst grief in the world is always your own." Can't remember who said that or if I'm phrasing it correctly but I like the sentiment. Pain is pain and we all have to go through our own.

SignalHillHiker · #13 Posted **Sep 28, 2020, 1:40 PM**

Congrats, Newell! Great to hear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by giallo

This year has been really tough on me as well. Moving to a new city and country mere months before COVID hit does not bode well for one's social life. I've never been so socially isolated in my entire life. As a full on extrovert, it's slowly, but surely started to mess with my mental health. I've had to try really hard to keep it together some days. With the added stress of not being able to work in Korea (I was working in China via Korea before the borders got shut), worrying about one of my parents that's very much at risk, my cat dying and not really liking the city I'm in, it's been a "death by a thousand cuts" situation.

I feel like a douche whining about it, because there are so many more people worse off than me, but it is what it is. I need social connections for the sake of my sanity.

Not douchey at all. That sounds brutal. Being in a city you don’t like is the absolute worst, at least in my personal experience. I’ve never been as mentally unwell as when that was my circumstance. In fact, first time in my life I was genuinely depressed - and only recognized it as such in hindsight because I’d never experienced anything close to that before. And even now it’s not as bad as it was when I was out west.

It’s interesting what we’re learning about ourselves through this. I thought I was an ambivert - love getting together with friends, generally people like me in social settings, but definitely needed my alone time. One of those “The hardest part of making new friends is I don’t want them” people. Now I realize I’m definitely more extroverted than I thought.

lio45 · #14 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:09 PM**

Lol, can't make this up: right after I suggest everyone posts pictures of themselves naked, SignalHillHiker posts a spoilered thing, that when opened starts with "This is definitely my personal anus..."

SignalHillHiker · #15 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:10 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by lio45

Lol, can't make this up: right after I suggest everyone posts pictures of themselves naked, SignalHillHiker posts a spoilered thing, that when opened starts with "This is definitely my personal anus..."

Hey, I didn't even assume you were talking about me because I'd never post a shirtless one.

lio45 · #16 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:11 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

Hey, I didn't even assume you were talking about me because I'd never post a shirtless one.

Really? I would have considered you capable of almost anything

(especially if drunk - but maybe it's not that time of day in St. John's)

SignalHillHiker · #17 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:15 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by lio45

Really? I would have considered you capable of almost anything

Aww, thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lio45

(especially if drunk - but maybe it's not that time of day in St. John's)

You're still a monster, though.

PortaPetee · #18 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:11 PM**

.

MolsonExport · #19 Posted **Sep 26, 2020, 8:29 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by lio45

Lol, can't make this up: right after I suggest everyone posts pictures of themselves naked, SignalHillHiker posts a spoilered thing, that when opened starts with "This is definitely my personal anus..."

Peggerino · #20 Posted **Sep 27, 2020, 12:14 AM**

It's been a terrible year for so many reasons... One thing in particular I have been hating the self-righteousness a lot of people have seemed to acquire since quarantine.

First, there's people for whom COVID-19 is equivalent to the plague. For these people, anybody not self-quarantining at all times, not wearing a mask, or out and about is idiotic or evil. They yell at people, call fellow citizens 'covidiots', and generally seem to have a massive superiority complexes. For them, COVID-19 is the biggest problem in the world and suggesting otherwise means you're stupid or don't care about others.

Then, there's the opposite group who are convinced the whole thing is a scam and the only people smart enough to know the truth of the world is themselves and their stupid facebook group or something. They have to shove it in our faces of how we're all living a lie and are idiots for listening to scientists.

Last, and unrelated to the previous two groups, we now have people who are woke to black lives matter and are constantly pushing ideas of how white people are evil, Canada is evil, police are evil, liberalism is evil, etc. Similar to the first two groups, this population is also convinced they know "the truth" of society. If you don't agree with them, then you are a racist and don't deserve a voice on certain matters. Even if you're not white, if you don't buy into their talk then you are not considered a "real" non-white person.

As one of billions of people who have probably had the worst year of their lives due to the pandemic and things related to it, it has not been helpful to my mental health to be hearing this back and forth of how a select few know the truth of the world and the rest of us are idiots for not buying into their mantra. In all honesty, the self righteousness is still probably not in my top 5 of grievances for 2020 but it's definitely something that grinds my gears when I observe it.

</rant>