Ugly Canada 2 (Only architecture, planning and design faux pas)

[O-tacular]

A bizarre bunker house seemingly built for the zombie apocalypse just south of Calgary:

https://www.google.com/maps/@50.8488...7i16384!8i8192

The finished form is worse than this streetview. It's all dark wood paneling with not a window visible from the street.

[SignalHillHiker]

House in suburban St. John’s. $600K lol Not hard to tell it’s Alberta money.

[esquire]

What in the ever-living fuck

[drew]

^ someone somewhere is missing their ornate fireplace mantle.

[O-tacular]

My only guess is that’s a salvage doorway from a historic building that they’ve tacked on to a vinyl siding shitbox. Even with Alberta oil money they spent nothing on accent materials of any kind. Wtf.

[drew]

^ maybe its some debris from a shipwreck that washed up.

[MonctonRad]

Originally Posted by drew

^ maybe its some debris from a shipwreck that washed up.

Here's a fun fact for you.

The "door" that Jack refused to share with Rose in the movie Titanic is not a door at all. It is in fact a bit of panelling from the grand hallway near the main staircase.

James Cameron saw this salvaged piece of panelling on display at the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic in Halifax, and it is still on display there. So, if you want to see the infamous piece of wood from the end of the movie and the source of so much controversy over whether or not Jack and Rose could have shared it, just take a trip to Halifax and there it is (along with many other artifacts, including one of the infamous deck chairs from the Titanic).

[Doady]

Seeing aerial of Richmond in the skyline thread called to my attention slabs with podiums, kind of the worst of the both worlds:
https://goo.gl/maps/kCc7pBXYKzYhog8r6

I think the real ugliness is parking lots and garages that surround these buildings, same as any other suburb. A parking lot tax can fund transit to reduce the demand for parking, and of course encourage them to be redeveloped. Even if the individual buildings are ugly, a complete streetwall can make a place very nice, just need to get rid of all that surface parking.

[megadude]

Well that house was fine... and then they ruined it. Wow.

And that one just south of Calgary demonstrates my main pet peeve. Lack of windows. Don't know why anyone, in a country where it's cold for so long, wants to eliminate the sunlight and warmth, literally and figuratively, that comes with windows.

[Wigs]

SHH,
what in all that is Holy is that brown vinyl box POS with some grand wooden entryway

My eyes. My EYES!

[lio45]

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

Looks totally recycled, and the varnish/finish really looks like it was intended for indoors use, I'm not sure it'll age well (literally).

[MonctonRad]

Originally Posted by lio45

Looks totally recycled, and the varnish/finish really looks like it was intended for indoors use, I'm not sure it'll age well (literally).

I agree, especially in a cold and wet maritime climate. It belongs inside.

I don't know why any contractor would go along with this abomination......

[Gresto]

Was it in this thread that the hilarious houses in Detroit, with driveways directly egressing a multi-lane freeway, were posted? That was a mind-blowing thing to see.

[TorontoDrew]

That would look cool on like a back deck but not the front of your house.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by Gresto

Was it in this thread that the hilarious houses in Detroit, with driveways directly egressing a multi-lane freeway, were posted? That was a mind-blowing thing to see.

Now I'm intrigued

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

House in suburban St. John’s. $600K lol Not hard to tell it’s Alberta money.

Good GOD! I just looked at this again and noticed the plain Home Depot special 2x4 decking with the Homer Simpson quality column on the right that’s stained to match the ornate archway. It’s potato Jesus level craftsmanship. Like a toddler adding to the Last Supper mural.

WTF is with Nfld and St. John’s specifically? For such a beautiful city its suburbs give Laval a run for its money. Though there is The Rooms right downtown…

Do some people not have human eyes? Can’t their brains ascertain that something is so plainly and hilariously hideous? Like the house would be ugly but plain enough to escape notice without highlighting how horrible it is by showcasing old world craftsmanship in the most tacky way possible. It’s like Ralph Wiggum stapling Lisa’s essay as the front page of his assignment.

Edit: I just processed the deck and noticed the gravel front yard. Not a stitch of landscaping. Who are these people?! And how the hell is this dump worth $600k?! That would buy you a much nicer Mcmansion in Calgary.

I also like how they lazily took the listing pics themselves and included the ass end of their pickup truck in the frame. It goes without saying that anyone who buys this drives a Ford F-150.

[Architype]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Oh MY GOD! I just looked at this again and noticed the plain Home Depot special 2x4 decking with the Homer Simpson quality column on the right that’s stained to match the ornate archway. It’s potato Jesus level craftsmanship. Like a toddler adding to the Last Supper mural.

WTF is with Nfld and St. John’s specifically? For such a beautiful city its suburbs give Laval a run for its money. Though there is The Rooms right downtown…

Do some people not have human eyes? Can’t their brains ascertain when something is so plainly and hilariously hideous? Like the house would be ugly but plain enough to escape notice without highlighting how horrible it is by showcasing old world craftsmanship in the most tacky way possible. It’s like Ralph Wiggum stapling Lisa’s essay as the front page of his assignment.

Edit: I just processed the deck and noticed the gravel front yard. Not a stitch of landscaping. Who are these people?! And how the hell is this dump worth $600k?! That would buy you a much nicer Mcmansion in Calgary.

I also like how they lazily took the listing pics themselves and included the ass end of their pickup truck in the frame. It goes without saying that anyone who buys this drives a Ford F-150.

^ Yep, it looks like a gatehouse for an internment camp. No doubt, the windows and view are on the other side, but there is some considerable skill required in making the less open front side presentable, and it is severely lacking in cases like this, with all the fish & chips take-out style windows and rough wood that doesn't match anything else (but at least this one has a nice, but totally incongruous neo-classical fireplace surround for an entrance). Regarding the landscaping, it's commonly an afterthought in NL, probably just something done in the spare time of retirement years after the house is paid for. NL would drive you to distraction that way, just as it used to do to me.
The mother-in-law door must be on the other side.

[Gresto]

Originally Posted by esquire

Now I'm intrigued

It was fascinatingly crazy and dystopian, but their posting must have been somewhere in the City Discussions forum. I tried to find the houses on Google Maps last night, without success. I'm fairly certain it was Detroit, but it might have been Atlanta.

[megadude]

Have you ever seen a house where you had to mow the lawn AND the driveway? Okay, I'm sure the driveway part is actually turf and not grass. Interesting concept but I bet it's annoying to drive on. And not to mention the extra stress put on the edges of the concrete as you drive from panel to panel. Not an ugly house, just interesting concept.

And another interesting one around the corner. Not exactly attractive but I wouldn't call it ugly.

Both in North York, which I bet most TO people here would have guessed.

[MolsonExport]

Mellastmanland