This has definitely been my personal annus horribilis.
January: Blizzard that completely shut the city down for 8 days, mostly shut down for several weeks. It was far worse than the COVID lockdown.
February: Really started to consciously experience the mental consequences of a new superior at work. Not sure the reason (fear of job loss on their part?) but aggressive micro-management, constant undermining, daily smug criticism. I went from barely being able to do anything wrong to barely able to do anything right. Professional confidence? Gone. I used to love going to work, around February I started wanting to cry every morning, and going to bed at supper time after every day on the job.
March-June: Working from home, some distance from supervisor, much easier at work. But gradually had a full mental breakdown from loneliness. I've always been a heavy drinker but this escalated dramatically after the first few weeks of lockdown. 8-12 daily, often more. After those weeks of marinating myself in a depressant, reached the logical mental conclusion. Of course decided better and reached out to friends instead. Ended up staying a couple weeks at a friend's place, on and on. Haven't had a drink since and I'm leaning toward not reintroducing it to my life in any capacity. I enjoy the edibles when I want to relax, and I'm more in control even when I'm especially down.
July-August: Back in the office. No improvement. But I did notice that when my supervisor was off on vacation, everything went so much better - not just for me personally but for the overall work. So my professional confidence started to return a bit.
September: It was either quit (there's nothing else comparable here, certainly not at the same level of pay; so I'm not really free) or access EAP/workplace conflict resolution training/whatever else I could. So, now I'm seeing a coach weekly for a couple months. And keeping records. It's insane the impact just one individual can have on your career, mental health. Tragic, really. Makes me feel so ashamed. I can't believe I didn't see
their incompetence and genuinely let myself get beaten down by them. I described some of the situations to my coach, and I did not exaggerate or embellish at all. And I didn't even mention the huge ones, only the few little incidents from recent days that were top of mind. And she said, "You need to keep a record of this for HR if it comes to that. What you're describing is a severe form of workforce bullying."
So yeah, a really, really shit year. "Life is short... but also unbearably long."
I still scream at least once a day.