Too Funny not to post!

[c_speed3108]

This popped up on another forum I monitor. I just about fell out of my seat laughing...I am not sure where it originates from....

OC Transpo Nominated for Governor General's Award for Canadian Fiction


It was announced today that the OC Transpo bus timetable is in the
running to receive the Canada Council's Governor General's Literary
Award for Fiction.

Said a spokesman: "The OC Transpo timetable is constructed in such a
way as to engender a wide range of emotions from its readers - hope,
disbelief, joy, anger, frustration and annoyance are all experienced
by readers of the timetable when faced with the adventure of taking an
OC Transpo bus. The timetable is written as a black comedy and it
should be emphasized that it bears no relationship whatsoever to
reality and any resemblance to a true event are purely coincidental".

A spokesman for Ottawa city council said he was happy that the efforts
of OC Transpo had been recognized in such a positive manner. It was
pointed out that Participaction had also praised the efforts made to
improve the health of the city by the aerobic exercises bus users are
forced to take up by running up and down bus stops trying to get to
where their bus will stop. "This not only improves the physical
health of the city but provides great mental stimulus to the commuter
who is trying to sort out which bus number is going to stop at which
location".

OC Transpo pointed out that these improvements do not come naturally
but that a great deal of training is necessary. "We are proud that
our staff have been trained to make bus stop announcements
unintelligible in both official languages. It gives our customers
confidence that the drivers seem to know where they are going. It
also takes a great deal of training to teach drivers to stop a bus
with a jerk which helps to strengthen riders' backs - our one great
regret is that it doesn't seem possible to get the O Train to stop
with a similar jerk".

In its drive to improve efficiency, OC Transpo is working to increase
the number and speed of the more effective parts of the system. Those
buses on the "Sorry, not in service" route already achieve average
speeds over triple that of the regular routes. In working to improve
these speeds even further a planner was heard to say:

"We would have a first class service if it wasn't for the passengers".