Is waiting until 40 to have kids/marriage the key to expensive metros?

[Steely Dan]

Originally Posted by suburbanite

The more and more I think about the more I think kids wont be a part of my life. I enjoy the bachelor lifestyle too much right now and cant see myself changing in the next 4 years, and the idea of kids in my late 30s doesn't do anything for me. All the power to those who make it work, especially in an urban environment.

I would have said the EXACT same thing as the bolded above when I was 26.

Kids were a million miles away from me 18 years ago when I was your age. Too young and having too much fun.

But things can, and often do, change. It's one of life's great constants.

Throughout my early/mid 30s, I witnessed friend after friend disappear into the "baby blackhole".

Eventually, I must have subconsciously said to myself "what the hell, I guess it's my turn".

That said, as to your last point, I did kinda luck-out being from a goldilocks city like Chicago where doing the urban family raising thing comfortably is still attainable for non-millionaires.

[svlt]

It's funny how perspectives change without fail, it's one of life's great distinctions between a lived experience vs. one that is posted and shared.

In my part of the world and circle (Vancouver, extremely expensive RE), there is a sweet spot to age of children, usually 30-35. It usually doesn't happen much older, at least for a first kid, unless the person concerned hasn't found a partner yet. Only other contrasting examples are from infertility. Younger than 30 is very rare, married folks can wait years. Granted I think many people are coming to accept that you don't need a house and a backyard to raise a kid here.