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  #1  
Old Posted Dec 22, 2018, 6:49 PM
kcantor kcantor is online now
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2018 seasons greetings

and so it begins...



regardless of what you and family do or don't celebrate at this time of year, seasons greetings and all the best for a healthy, happy and prosperous 2019.
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  #2  
Old Posted Dec 22, 2018, 8:09 PM
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Indeed it does. I'd like to wish everyone a very happy holiday season and a prosperous and joyous New Year!
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  #3  
Old Posted Dec 22, 2018, 10:01 PM
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Happy Holidays everyone I hope you all have a good time!
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  #4  
Old Posted Dec 23, 2018, 2:16 PM
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May your 2019 be better than your 2018!
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  #5  
Old Posted Dec 23, 2018, 2:56 PM
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To people who have worked in offices who can relate to some part of this memo!



Quote:
To: All staff


The Company Christmas Party

COMPANY MEMO

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 28, 2018

RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House.

There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band
playing traditional carols... Feel free to sing along. And don't be
surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over
$10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.

This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty.



COMPANY MEMO

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 29, 2018

RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.

However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.

There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.

We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty.



COMPANY MEMO

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 30, 2018

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name...

I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I
supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed
since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the
executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Patty.



COMPANY MEMO

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: December 4, 2018

RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours.

There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at
this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.
Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the
end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in
little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit
farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the
table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit
with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks
that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns
about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in
the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood
pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but
the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty.



COMPANY MEMO

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Fucking Employees

DATE: December 6, 2018

RE: The Fucking Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your fucking salad bar, including
organic tomatoes.

But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice
them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you fucking wierdos can kiss my ass. I hope you all have a
rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from Hell!!!



COMPANY MEMO

FROM: Joan Bishop, ACTING HUMAN RESOURCES DIRECTOR

DATE: December 8, 2018

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy
recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I'll continue to
forward your cards to her at the asylum.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party
and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.



Happy Whatever!
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  #6  
Old Posted Dec 23, 2018, 9:21 PM
JakeLRS JakeLRS is offline
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Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays

Let's be real, 2018 has been way better than 2016 and 2017. (Finally a GOOD year)
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  #7  
Old Posted Dec 23, 2018, 10:34 PM
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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to most of you
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  #8  
Old Posted Dec 24, 2018, 6:33 PM
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Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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