Is waiting until 40 to have kids/marriage the key to expensive metros?

[chris08876]

^^^^^

Modafinil might be what your looking for. Good for writing PhD level papers for 30 hours straight.

[authentiCLE]

Originally Posted by dave8721

40 is too old to have a kid IMO (biologically getting close to actually too old to be safe for a woman at least). I had my first at 31 and 2nd at 35 and i noticed my energy level dealing with a kid was already lower at 35 than it was at 31. I can't imagine it at 42. Or dealing with a non-sleeping newborn at 50? Dealing with a rebellious teenager as a 65 year old? Paying for college right as you enter retirement?
Back in the 1950's when people had kids when they were 22-25 by the time they were 45, their kids were already out of the house.

I agree 20's is too young. 30-35 is the prime age for kids in our current society.

I'm in a similar boat. Dealing with very young children while in your upper 30's is exhausting. And the part people overlook is the older you are, the older your own parents are. My kids' grandparents are in no shape to be chasing them around so they barely help at all.

If the cycle continues, I'll be an old ass man before (if) I get grandchildren. That sucks.

[202_Cyclist]

Our first child was born in 2018, when I was 40 years old. I might not have as much energy but we will be able to buy a house in a neighborhood with much better public schools than if our son was born when I was 30 years old.

Additionally, my wife and I had an opportunity to travel the world, seeing many countries I would not have the opportunity to if we waited until after our son is grown.

[ThePhun1]

Originally Posted by chris08876

Or maybe if your over 40 and have a 26 year old wife...

I mean... I've seen it happen lol.

Probably much easier for a guy I guess in that scenario.

My best friend, 40-year old male, has a 60 year old ex-wife. So it can happen in reverse.

[turnleft]

Uhmm...If you have a low income job then probably wait until 40 for you to afford the city.

[dave8721]

Originally Posted by BnaBreaker

How is 35 "Prime age" but 40 is an absolute no go, full stop? I mean I would agree that 50 is really pushing it, but if you're 40, you're still in your mid-fifties when they enter high school, late fifties when they enter college, early 60's when they graduate and ideally go start making money, and if they get married and have kids at a more typical time in their lives, there's a solid probability that you'll have at least a good 15-20 years with the grandkids... so what's the problem? Or are you just talking about energy levels or something?

Thats why I said "IMO". For me, I couldn't imaging dealing with a newborn again (just turned 42). Of course the reason i probably don't have the energy to deal with a little kid any more is that I dealt with little kids already.

[Steely Dan]

Originally Posted by eschaton

Totally anecdotal, but when my daughter was born (I was 30) my beard pretty quickly shifted from no gray to over half gray - like over two years or so.

It's slowed down since then, but I'm 41 now, and outside of my mustache, my beard is pretty much all white now. At least my hair is still mostly brown...and mostly there.

I'm 44 with a 5 year old and 4 year old, and I'm actually kinda surprised by how un-gray I am.

I mean, yeah I've got some gray coming into my corona-beard, and I have some very light salt and pepper in my hair, but my own father was well on his way to full-blown silver by my age.

Then again, when he was 44 he had an 18 year old daughter and a 14 year old son, so he had LOTS more to worry about (and my older sister put him through the fucking ringer as a teenager).

[jtown,man]

My hair went from around 1% gray to around 30% after 4 years of the military. I give it up to parents, I imagine I would be 100% gray after 3 years.

btw, I just noticed I usually spell gray as the British do(grey). In fact, I do this a lot. I just figured out my spell check on Word is set to British English...and has been for the last 4 years lol that might have something to do with it.

[chris08876]

^^^^

The British would say your on the right track. Apparently, word on the street is that the way the British speak is the proper English, and that Americans butcher it up. You gotta speak like John Bercow. That man has an impeccable command of the English language.

[JManc]

My youngest brother and his wife (37 and 35) have a 2 and a half year old and had twins on Wednesday, those two will have a serious handful for a while.

[TexasPlaya]

Originally Posted by chris08876

^^^^^

Modafinil might be what your looking for. Good for writing PhD level papers for 30 hours straight.

Limitless

[chris08876]

Originally Posted by TexasPlaya

Limitless

Its good stuff. I have Adranifil, that I use as a nootropic at times, and you take about 400-500mg of it, early in a.m., with some milk thistle (500mg), and what it does is it converts to Modafinil (adranifil) in the liver. Its the pro drug to Modafinil. Stuff is good, you can get a lot done. Use as needed to advance in career and impress.

Has a very very long half life, so you feel residual nootropic effects for many days.

Recommend phenylpiracetam as needed for days where peak mental performance is desired.

Get an edge on the competition. Be the wolf!

If you see the 1st page of the NYC high rise compilation, just know, I was under the influence when I decided to, for fun, do that compilation (check out 1st few posts in that compilation).

Nootropics are great! As is microdosing.

[turnleft]

Oh and for you to live before 40 to live in the metro then stop buying things you don't need! Really I've been watching extreme couponers on youtube and I was amazed with how much they saved so I think that should be a start for me.

[mhays]

"Extreme couponing" has several problems, even while some people do it intelligently:
--Some people use it to buy stuff they DON'T need, and can even spend more overall.
--A lifestyle of bulk buying might turn into a want for more square footage, i.e. more spending to buy/rent a place as well as heat it etc.
--You can't support small businesses on coupons.

[eschaton]

Originally Posted by mhays

--You can't support small businesses on coupons.

Also worth noting that coupons are almost always for prepared foods. Things like produce and basic staples are sometimes put on sale, but almost never via a coupon. Basically you'd save much more money just cooking things for yourself.

[chris08876]

They need to make a register line just for folks that bring 1000 coupons and also pay with a check. Slows down the line.

[Acajack]

I had my kids in the first half of my 30s. They are teenagers now.

They are really good kids by any standard but parenting always has its ups and downs.

Very little change in the colour of either my hair (on my head) or my beard. I actually have almost no grey whatsoever. Runs in the family.

My wife started turning grey in her 20s, long before we were even thinking about having kids.

[eschaton]

While I generally sleep better now that my kids are older (6 and 10) I have far, far less free time than I did when they were babies. I say this because as naps have gone away and bedtimes have been pushed back (son at 8PM, daughter at 9PM) the free time I have to read, play a computer game, watch a show, or do anything else more involved than online shitposting has basically been reduced to a couple of hours in the evening - hours that often have some sort of chore that needs to be done anyway.

I honestly can't wait in some respects until both of my kids are in the "hide in their room" phase. My daughter is pretty much already there.

[Acajack]

Originally Posted by eschaton

While I generally sleep better now that my kids are older (6 and 10) I have far, far less free time than I did when they were babies. I say this because as naps have gone away and bedtimes have been pushed back (son at 8PM, daughter at 9PM) the free time I have to read, play a computer game, watch a show, or do anything else more involved than online shitposting has basically been reduced to a couple of hours in the evening - hours that often have some sort of chore that needs to be done anyway.

I honestly can't wait in some respects until both of my kids are in the "hide in their room" phase. My daughter is pretty much already there.

And then at a certain age they want to start roaming around town and you're caught in the dilemma of letting them walk, take transit or driving them everywhere.

[suburbanite]

I cant imagine living where I do and affording kids before my mid 30s unless I marry someone who doubles our income. I just turned 26 and had the realization that I'm the same age as my parents were when I was born. That is fucked up... They were abnormal even among their friend group of young working professionals. I'm the oldest kid in their friend group by a solid 4 years. Still, back then they were able to buy a house in a very desirable suburb for $500k, the same one which would cost me close to $2 million today.

The more and more I think about the more I think kids wont be a part of my life. I enjoy the bachelor lifestyle too much right now and cant see myself changing in the next 4 years, and the idea of kids in my late 30s doesn't do anything for me. All the power to those who make it work, especially in an urban environment.