he Austonian, the swank 55-story luxury condo tower that will be going up at Second Street and Congress Avenue, is going to have a toilet for dogs.
Hey, when you charge $550,000 to $3.8 million per unit, you've got to have something for the guy who has everything, right?
So the 10th floor of the joint will feature an "urban garden" with a lap pool, a billiard room, an outdoor movie screen and a dog park with a scented self-cleaning doggy john.
What this means is that if you live in the Austonian, you'll no longer have to take your dog outside for a walk. And your dog will get fat and start looking like a sausage with lips.
Scott Ziegler of the architectural firm Ziegler Cooper Architects of Houston thinks that when installed, the Austonian's dog toilet might be the first one in America.
"I try to keep up with these design blogs, and I haven't seen it anywhere," he said. "It ought to get a lot of attention. The leading edge is usually in Seattle and New York, but nobody has offered that in any of their Web sites, so I think this might be a first."
That's good, because it means that Austin will finally be known for a third thing besides live music and allergies.
The dog toilet is built flush with the floor and comes with a mechanical scraping blade.
"It's got a cleansing flush system that has a chemical aroma that attracts the dog," Ziegler said. "It's a stainless-steel plate, 18 inches square, and that's the surface that the dogs are attracted to when the dog does his business. Then you hit the fob, an electronic key, and a little scraper scrapes the dog's residue into the sanitary system. And it cleanses it."
In other words, you don't want to be there when the wiper blade breaks down and about 47 dogs show up.
Actually, what really happens is that the dog ignores the steel plate and goes in the lap pool. Then the dog nails the guy in the swim trunks on the ankle.
You've got to wonder if they keep a garden hose handy in case they need to break up the dogs. Also, is there any restriction on the size of dog that can use this dog toilet? "Not in our research, no," Ziegler said. "The plate looks like it accommodates almost anything. I hate to think what else might use it."
Kappa Sigma comes to mind, especially on Texas football weekends.
I'm curious what scent they'll use to attract the dogs. I hear Eau de FiFi In Heat works pretty well.
Ziegler says the device will be popular with dog owners who live downtown.
"Owners of condominiums don't want to walk around with a bag in their hands," Ziegler said. "So we're trying to promote a very positive experience for the owner and their dog."
Great, but won't this lead to jokes about the Austonian? Won't some people start calling the place the Pomeranian? And would you really want to live next to a building full of people who are too lazy to walk their dogs?
Oh well, at least the dog toilet will give the Austonian a new marketing logo: Close to Downtown and Barking.
http://www.statesman.com/news/conten...01/1kelso.html
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