Quote:
Originally Posted by kool maudit
[...]-- but I'm considering coming home.
Have any of you guys had the experience of returning to Canada after a long time living elsewhere? What did it feel like? Were there things about Canada that you found really welcome, or things that disappointed you? Did you find that "your Canada" was kind of out of date by the time you actually returned?
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I have lived in France for almost 4 years, from 2016 to 2019 in order to achieve a Ph.D. There is a lot of work and research being done in France in my field (heritage / culture / land planning). I was going there with open plans - I could come back or not, depending on the opportunities I would find. I had the opportunity of working there in a natural park while studying and collaborating in a research laboratory as a part of my thesis project.
I was not gone long enough to feel that Canada was different when I was back. And coming back to Canada was not that hard.
In fact, studying and working in France is rather harsh, compared to Québec. People tend to overwork, and to make the day of work long and inefficient (7:30/8AM to 7/7:30PM, with an incredibly long dinner pause from 1 to 2:30PM). I was glad to come back and finally get back to an 8 to 4 schedule and do something else rather than working. Even though I enjoy chatting with my colleagues, I also love my own personal life and relatives, and I am glad to come back home in order to eat and talk with them (and do domestic chores too). I missed that much when living there.
I also enjoyed the canadian way of respecting people's boundaries. I did not realize that I missed that this much while in France. For example, going to a social gathering and bringing a nice bottle of wine - if you put your bottle on the kitchen counter, you can be sure that it will be empty before you pour your second glass. People assume that everything is shared at all time. We like to share in Canada, but we are polite and ask before. The answer will always be yes. Another example, at the restaurant, my colleagues would always split the bill in even parts. I was rather poor at the time and did not order expensive meals when eating out, so it was awkward for me to ask them if I could pay less because my meal was cheaper. I was seen as "the ungenerous individualistic north-american capitalist folk" (I am barely exaggerating). In Canada, people have much more consideration about everyone's situation and genuinely want the people around the table to feel good. This comfort was missing in France. But I do get their conception of generosity, though.
Also I was glad to come back to a country where mental illness is not taboo. Experimenting a depression or anxiety in Canada is okay, and can be handled. In France it was still seen as some sort of weakness. One has to hide it in order to be well perceived.
As a gay man, I was also relieved to come back to Canada. My thesis advisor always had this catholic cross around the neck, and I was not encline to talk to him about my boyfriend when he asked more personal questions. With my younger colleagues, there was no problem of course. I also often had to meet with farmers or to interview older persons for my data collect, and they were always automatically asking me where my wife was. The centre of France is still quite catholic and conservative. I had never encountered this situation in Québec, even in the countryside where I have lived most of my life. People are generally open-minded here or, otherwise, they have a
vivre et laisser vivre mindset, whatever age they are.
One thing though I found rather hard, when coming back to Canada, was the access to nature (I know, it's not what you would expect to read). I am a very enthousiast hiker, and the european network of long-hike paths is extraordinary. There was always a small
GR de pays or
GR path or a
Forêt domaniale somewhere, that lead from the inner city to the countryside. In Canada, nature is omnipresent but private. You have to drive to the closest regional or national park in order to have access to nature (yes I am aware of the urban parks networks around Canada - it's kind of my job). I really miss going for walks or long hiking trips, and exploring numerous towns or villages.
I also miss the smaller scale of everything. It felt comfortable. Stroads here are depressing, grey, beige and chaotic.
Finally... let's talk about public transit. I could easily go from Versailles to Paris, then to a regional capital, then to a department
chef-lieu and then to a backcountry village of 700 people using public transit. Yes, my journeys were long and required multiple modal transfers, but it was
very convenient. I missed that a lot when I came back to Canada. I had to buy a car to go see my family.
Now, I really feel like Canada is a great place to live. Even though I am always surprised by the duration of our Québec winters, I enjoy living in a peaceful place where we have kept a human pace, and where
la gentillesse prevails. It's not perfect, but there's nowhere like home, I guess. Overall, France has given me a desire for precision when writing and speaking (in French, not in English, as you can see I use way too many words to express myself in English
), it has bettered my ability to debate and has greatly increased my assertiveness. But I am still a gentle
canadien français.
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