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  #81  
Old Posted Oct 23, 2019, 7:17 PM
YSL YSL is offline
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Originally Posted by Acajack View Post
Yeah but even if it exists, no one rational would call that desirable, laudable or even defensible.
That wasn't the point. You, or the other poster, spoke on behalf of men and what men do. That was an optimistically sweeping generation. I don't fall into any of that group but I probably come off as odd to him too since there wasn't any sort of transformation into a different human the day I became a dad.

I am a father and am tired of being guilt-tripped for not having this amazing come-to-Jesus moment the moment I became one. I did not turn into another person when I became a father. There are no words to express how much I love being a father but nothing has really changed, personality wise. I still make decisions some stupid parents see as 'selfish'. Only difference is I have someone I love just as much (ok, maybe slightly more) than me. He is very well-cared for, privileged and is perfectly fine living anywhere.
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  #82  
Old Posted Oct 23, 2019, 7:18 PM
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here.

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  #83  
Old Posted Oct 23, 2019, 7:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YSL View Post
That's *you*.

There are probably hundreds of millions of detached fathers out there. Lots of men don't change, and there is an enormous number of deadbeat dads in this country and around the world. You can't take your epiphany and extrapolate it to what men think. On the contrary, there are a lot of men who probably wanted to be fathers but had no idea how much they did not. Just go look at the statistics of the ever rising number of men who abandon their family.
your reading comprehension skills need a tune-up. in no way, shape, or form did i say, or even imply, that what i wrote applies to all men. the word "can" has a meaning.

it was merely a counter to my initial assessment that 10023 might not be a great candidate for parenthood given the emphasis on self and self-satisfaction that drips from a lot of his posts.

i used to be one of those men, and then it all got turned upside down when i became a dad. if 10023 ever becomes a parent, it's quite possible that he might undergo a similar such change in attitude.

or maybe not. as you pointed out, there are A LOT of shitty fathers in this world. we certainly don't need any more of them. or shitty moms for that matter.





Quote:
Originally Posted by YSL View Post
I love my child, but I don't think having one really changed me and I don't feel guilty about it either. I simply learned to love another human being as much as I love myself.
on the one hand you claim that you didn't change when you became a dad, then in the very next sentence you drop this little doozy "I simply learned to love another human being as much as I love myself"

if that's not a big glaring example of change and personal growth, then what the fuck is?
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Last edited by Steely Dan; Oct 23, 2019 at 7:44 PM.
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  #84  
Old Posted Oct 23, 2019, 7:35 PM
floor23 floor23 is offline
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In no particular order and if money wasn't a concern

-Seoul
-Tokyo
-London
-Prague
-Paris
-Naples
-Valencia
-Seville
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  #85  
Old Posted Oct 23, 2019, 8:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YSL View Post
That wasn't the point. You, or the other poster, spoke on behalf of men and what men do. That was an optimistically sweeping generation. I don't fall into any of that group but I probably come off as odd to him too since there wasn't any sort of transformation into a different human the day I became a dad.

I am a father and am tired of being guilt-tripped for not having this amazing come-to-Jesus moment the moment I became one. I did not turn into another person when I became a father. There are no words to express how much I love being a father but nothing has really changed, personality wise. I still make decisions some stupid parents see as 'selfish'. Only difference is I have someone I love just as much (ok, maybe slightly more) than me. He is very well-cared for, privileged and is perfectly fine living anywhere.
I think you are basically saying the same thing as me. (See highlighted.)
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  #86  
Old Posted Oct 23, 2019, 8:10 PM
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A year ago I would have said Hong Kong, I love that city. But with China hell bent on destroying everything that makes that city great, not anymore. Incredibly sad, I don't know if Hong Kong will ever recover. We're blocked from all business travel now, indefinitely.
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  #87  
Old Posted Oct 23, 2019, 9:20 PM
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I would move near my sister's family to Brescia: https://www.google.com/maps/place/Br...6!4d10.2118019

It's a smallish Italian city, good connectivity to Milan and Venice for major metros (both within about 1.5 hour train ride) , plus close to cities like Verona, Padua, Parma, Modena, etc. Not to mention some amazing lakes and hiking. Plus I get to be close to my adorable niece and nephew.

There's a lot to not like about living in Italy but the amazing food and dedication to enjoying life make it worth the lack of some modern conveniences and weird politics, IMO. Her father-in-law got prescribed A VACATION recently. He got a doctor's note saying he needed a week off. What a country.
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  #88  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 1:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 10023 View Post
There is no point in moving to Dubai as a US citizen. None. Europeans and others only do it because you can be well paid with a very low tax rate.
I actually would like to live there for awhile.
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  #89  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 4:26 AM
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I've never heard of anyone excited by the prospect of living in Toronto ... I mean, there's nothing much wrong with it, it's just never struck me as exciting.

I think I'd enjoy Barcelona or Hong Kong or Brisbane. Paris is my favorite city to visit, although I don't know that I'd want to live there. I like Stockholm, but I don't think I'd like the long winter nights anywhere in Scandinavia. Porto might be a fun place to retire.
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  #90  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 5:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emathias View Post
I've never heard of anyone excited by the prospect of living in Toronto ... I mean, there's nothing much wrong with it, it's just never struck me as exciting.

I think I'd enjoy Barcelona or Hong Kong or Brisbane. Paris is my favorite city to visit, although I don't know that I'd want to live there. I like Stockholm, but I don't think I'd like the long winter nights anywhere in Scandinavia. Porto might be a fun place to retire.
I've always found it appealing. Just my opinion.
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  #91  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 6:21 AM
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Originally Posted by jtown,man View Post
I actually would like to live there for awhile.
You’re the first person I’ve ever heard say that. Lots of people want to go check it out for a weekend or on a flight layover, and lots of people will do a stint for the tax benefits. But it’s a horrible, repressive place with awful weather and the tall buildings won’t make up for that for long.
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  #92  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 11:25 AM
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I'd love to spend the rest of my life in either Tokyo or Chongqing.
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  #93  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 2:49 PM
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Originally Posted by emathias View Post
I've never heard of anyone excited by the prospect of living in Toronto ... I mean, there's nothing much wrong with it, it's just never struck me as exciting.
The excitement in Toronto is how fast it's changing and appears to be hitting a critical mass in terms of new development, street life/activity, nightlife, and entertainment options. The difference between walking around Downtown and the immediate neighbourhoods to the West 10 years ago vs. today is astounding. Anecdotally, people on the Canada forum and who I've encountered around town that had the same impression of Toronto in the early 00's (ie. "it's fine and all but not really exciting") have been blown away by more recent visits.

I think it has a feeling like getting in on the ground floor of a new hot product or technology or something. The city is more prominent in pop culture now than it maybe has ever been, and it's attracting a ton of young people from across the world. Seems like every time I'm out on a weekend I'm meeting a ton of twenty-somethings from Brazil, Ireland, UK, Australia, etc.

Not as many Americans around which makes sense I think. For most, Canada is mostly still the quiet neighbour, America-lite and whatnot. Probably doesn't really feel like any reason to go to Toronto over any of the premier domestic destinations. Among the commonwealth countries though, it's a destination in itself, a place that has part of that North American Grandeur but in a country that's at least perceived as more liberal and familiar.
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  #94  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 3:27 PM
iheartthed iheartthed is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steely Dan View Post
white flight from US cities had a variety of push/pull factors.

pull: the allure of the new, a bigger house/yard, etc.

push: the presence of black people, increasing crime, etc.


anyone who attempts to boil it all down to one lone reason is a fool.
The biggest enabler of white flight was low cost money from Uncle Sam.
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  #95  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 4:46 PM
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Originally Posted by iheartthed View Post
The biggest enabler of white flight was low cost money from Uncle Sam.
I'm not sure if that was the "biggest enabler". Plenty of people lost money selling homes at a big loss in city propers, before moving to the suburbs, especially in the latter phases of white flight. If you sold in Detroit post-1967, you probably lost money.

And post-redlining, subsidized federal mortgages were readily available in cities too.
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  #96  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 5:04 PM
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If I could afford it and be able to live comfortably my first choice would be London -- it's been at the top of my list for international cities since I was in High School.

Others I wouldn't mind living in:

Roma
Milano
Lisboa
Barcelona
Amsterdam
Sydney
Buenos Aires
Istanbul
Athens
Frankfurt
Rio de Janeiro
Andorra
Singapore
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  #97  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 5:12 PM
jtown,man jtown,man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 10023 View Post
You’re the first person I’ve ever heard say that. Lots of people want to go check it out for a weekend or on a flight layover, and lots of people will do a stint for the tax benefits. But it’s a horrible, repressive place with awful weather and the tall buildings won’t make up for that for long.
Yeah, I can confidently say I wouldn't be happy there for a long time. But for a few years, it would be cool.

Incredible winter weather, a lot to do in the city, lots of growth, and importantly, a jump-off point to other destinations most Americans don't venture to.
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  #98  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 5:23 PM
iheartthed iheartthed is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crawford View Post
I'm not sure if that was the "biggest enabler". Plenty of people lost money selling homes at a big loss in city propers, before moving to the suburbs, especially in the latter phases of white flight. If you sold in Detroit post-1967, you probably lost money.

And post-redlining, subsidized federal mortgages were readily available in cities too.
Selling homes at a loss in the city were symptoms of the larger issue. With no regulations at the time, there was a market for house flippers to drive down the values of homes in the inner-city through scare tactics, and then sell those homes to black families at a profit, since those black families were mostly not allowed to buy into suburban communities.

But, the overall point is that there would have been no market for a significant amount of suburban expansion without easy access to financing enabled by the federal government. No loans, no mass building outside of city limits. On top of that, the federal government also financed the highways to allow people to get in and out of the cities.
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  #99  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 7:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Steely Dan View Post
to the extent that you can discern someone's personality over an internet web-forum, you may not be strong parenthood material.
I wouldn’t be a typical dad, that’s correct. Also no dad bod, dad jeans or dad jokes. No Disney vacations, movies or plastic crap. No accommodating picky eating habits, and no “family-friendly” restaurants. The pub for lunch, maybe.

But I think the average parent indulges their kids and changes their life to suit the desires of their children far too much.
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  #100  
Old Posted Oct 24, 2019, 7:56 PM
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Originally Posted by 10023 View Post
I wouldn’t be a typical dad, that’s correct. Also no dad bod, dad jeans or dad jokes. No Disney vacations, movies or plastic crap. No accommodating picky eating habits, and no “family-friendly” restaurants. The pub for lunch, maybe.

But I think the average parent indulges their kids and changes their life to suit the desires of their children far too much.
No Disney movies or movies in general? Your kids would be the weirdos who can't go to their friend's house because they might be watching Finding Nemo and serving mac and cheese from a box.
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