Quote:
Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker
I've never felt unsafe in Canada. Part of that is simply the expectation that Canadians are likely unarmed. I imagine you'd react differently to a road rage incident in Texas than you would in Ontario. It's similar, really. Everything seems less menacing here.
I doubt it's as bad in much of the United States as some make it out to be. We have the same small, vocal group here - for whom everything is awful. They thrive on offense and outrage, regardless of the other person's intentions.
For example, a few people I know spent Monday posting memes asking allies and "white queers" not to mourn because it was inappropriate given the victims were "Latinx" and "AfroLatinx". "This is not about you". Well, go fuck yourself, is not about you either. People can grieve however they want.
A grandmother once called into Open Line to say she loved her gay grandson. The host said that was a wonderful gesture and something all gay boys should hear and experience. This minority gave him so much shit. Angry, breathless vitriol because "he's just a boy, not a GAY BOY". Embarrassing. And there is a lot of that nonsense in the LGBT community, people with no patience, with no understanding of who their enemy actually is.
It's exhausting. The only upside is they are completely unforgiving and write you off for life for the smallest transgression. So you only have to deal with them in person once.
All that said, this time it was a major first for many younger LGBT people. There's a whole generation now that grew up assuming this sort of thing was in the past for them. It's unnerving. I know the high schools in St. John's have had to do some counseling. One 15 year old in the LGBT choir spoke at our vigil. It was very heartfelt, humorous, but also genuinely afraid.
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To be fair though, there is a lot intersectionality in these types of issues. It can one thing to be gay, it can be one thing to be non-white, another to be a woman. It can be something else entirely when these things start adding together. And the LGBTQ community isn't always great at acknowledging that.
While I certainly agree that sometimes people take the argument a bit too far, we also have to recognize that that there is privilege that still exists even within these communities, and in general, white gay men still have a voice and a standing that isn't available to many others. Can they grieve? Absolutely, and i think it's silly to suggest otherwise. But the fact that this happened to involve predominantly latino victims does bring some of these issues to light. Many people have just as much trouble, if not more being embraced as a non-white person in the LGBTQ community as they do being embraced as a sexual minority in their ethinic communities. Racism and microagressions are pervasive in the north american gay community, Canada included. Much like the gay community is looking at the broader U.S. society and asking "oh, so suddenly you care about us?", there are is also the community of queer people of colour looking at the dominant gay culture and saying the exact same thing.
In many ways I actually agree with your broader point. I actually don't use the word "queer" to describe myself because I've come to associate with a certain group of people who seem to look for issues to be upset about and it makes me cringe a bit. But we also need to be careful about assuming we know "who the enemy actually is" because some poeople have enemies, or systems working against them that we may not.
For the record, I'm gay and I'm not white. I'm not trying to say that I have had a horrible experience with the gay community in Canada at all, its generally been great, but that doesn't mean there still isn't a fair bit things that I noticed happen all accross the country that I think a lot of people don't notice, are in a position that they can ignore.
Do I think Canada is a bit better in terms of safety (percieved or real) than the U.S though..yes. The degree to which certain policies are still supported in parts of the states speaks to some differences. Many things are happening down there politically that just wouldn't fly in any Canadian province these days. That being said, there are still crazies out there, and I don't think we can dismiss the idea that people might still be somewhat on edge in Canada, even if it is less than the U.S. From what I've seen, even in Canada, is that most gay people doing "gay things" in public are at least a touch more aware of their surroundings, who is watching etc. Maybe not to the point of being debilitating or even really affecting behavior, but something that's in the back of the mind of most.
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