[Shawn]

Other boxes that must be checked to receive your Boston local card:

- Are you still wearing shorts outside in January or February? If not, you have some additional climate acclimation and fashion-sense loss to work on.

- Do you wear white after Labor Day and before Memorial Day? If so, GTFU. Counter-intuitive to the point above, I know.

- Are you walking at least twice as fast as the clearly out-of-town college kids / tourists / New Yorkers seeing their college kids? If not, you need to get up to speed. We don't do slow-walking in Boston, and we don't take kindly to slowpokes clogging up the works.

- Are "bzah", "pissah", "shuah", and "retahded" all intrinsic parts of your vocabulary? If not, consider yourself lucky and don't bother trying to integrate any further; you're already ahead of the rest of us in terms of not sounding like a mental midget, no reason to go down that path now! Note: "wicked" is New England-wide and not Boston-specific. You will certainly earn some points for dropping "wicked" in place of something asinine like "hella" (groan), but you're not definitively identifying yourself as a Bostonian with "wicked."