[Submariner]

https://nypost.com/2020/09/06/propos...l-underground/

Which Will Come First: Intergalactic Travel or a new PABT?


By Steve Cuozzo III
September 6, 2182

It was considered a bury good way to get rid of the city’s most hated transit hub.

Early in the 21st century, New York City developed an incredible plan to bury the infamous Port Authority Bus Terminal underground - Buses were an antiquated form of transportation before the advent of automated personal transport pods and hypersonic international travel.

Though completely unnecessary for the city in this day and age, some politicians have claimed that replacing the current terminal, built in the mid 20th century with a new bus terminal would greatly improve the worlds most important city.

"I am calling today for a return to greatness for this city. I believe it is time to rebuild the PABT in the classical post-war, mid-century style said Michael Corelone Cuomo, governor of New York. "I think it should reflect the history of this great city and its incredible past leaders. Mr. Cuomo has suggested naming the PABT the "Andrew Cuomo COVID-19 conquering and new-infrastructure building Memorial Bus Terminal", an ode to his great, great grandfather and governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo.

The name has some critics raising their eyebrows, but even more concern is directed at a possible conflict of interest - Michael Cuomo owns all of the land under where the proposed PABT has been proposed. Still, he insists there is nothing wrong with the deal. "I will ensure that the bidding process is fair and transparent. There are two great competing parcels where the PABT is being considered, one in Scranton Pennsylvania and another at a former nuclear waste dump in New Jersey. "I have no doubt that the city and my hand picked, impartial PABT committee will pick the one best for the city of New York."

The PABT has experienced over a centuries worth of delays and setbacks, usually due to corruption, fraud, or opposition from NIMBY activists, who have mostly disappeared since the advent of deep-brain reconstructive therapy and anti-mental-illness medicines. For example, in 2043, it was discovered that the director of the PABT haden't shown up for work in 7 years. During that time he collected nearly $2,000,000 a year for his efforts. Subsequent investigations led the FBI to the offices of Dante de Blasio, then-mayor and son of disgraced former mayor Bill de Blasio. Public outrage led to proposed plans to be shelved for the time being.

Dave Gore, a historian at Columbia University, weighed in on what prevented the PABT from being redeveloped in the past: "In a word? Greed. And incompetence. And massive corruption. And politics. And stupid leaders. Lots of stupid leaders. To be perfectly honest, no one gave a shit back then. We have archival iPhone footage of a homeless woman performing oral sex on a junkie with a needle in his arm in the middle of the concourse and people just walked by. It was barbaric, but people just didn't care. Such was life in antiquity."

Still, even if the plan were deemed worthy by the city council, many questions and fears about costs remain.

"Currently, the going rate for a floor-washer-visual-supervisor is $2,375/hour not including benefits, and the PABT has roughly 5,000,000 sq. ft of floor space that isn't even used for commuters, retail or commercial space" said Martin Wilder, president of "God this City Sucks" a watchdog group focused on stopping corruption and wasteful spending. "They literally built floors above main terminal where raw sewage is pumped to and dumped on, and the plan calls for the floors being cleaned by no fewer than 1,000 employees using fully automated cleaning drones."

"it's honestly unbelievable. Why are they building a bus terminal? What is this the 21st century?" Quipped a passerby as we were taking holograms of the proposed site.

Questions of how it should be built also exist. Despite fully automated construction technology existing since the early 22nd century, union rules in New York demand that 37 workers be utilized for every drone employed. Critics are calling for the workers, who mostly sit around in office buildings and watch the drones from afar, to be removed from the process to save costs. Alan Fletcher, president of local 107, begs to differ. "These are hard working men, honest men. The work gives them time to socialize and relax. We have tried to be as fair as possible. For example, we took pay cuts that reduced the average income to only six times the American median. You have to understand, that hurts."

A community board meeting that kicks off a 27 year long review process will be held next week.